Before you read, understand if you are in a diet that’s mentioned here, it’s not about feeling worse. That feeds guilt/shame cycles. This is about raising awareness around what I have seen from personal experience and from the clients. It has no bearing on the choices made as human beings, I am here to share that there is NOTHING wrong with you. No matter what choices you make.
Recently, I heard the words…
“If you don’t do lose weight you will die!! Or fall apart!”
It’s true, yes. And I agree, we need to raise the conversation. So, here I am. Raising the conversation of shame and guilt having adverse affects on mind and physical health.
Tell us something we do not know.
Are the health rates falling?? Nope! (The information is readily available via government websites)
Interesting! The health stats are getting worse in all cases, even though there’s more diets/exercise programs than ever. Is that fair to say?
With the pandemic recently and the way health is handled, lose weight or die of COVID. There are is a lot more physiological and logical thinking, rather than someone’s emotional wellbeing (which can contribute and trigger illness).
Many women who I work with have been through sexual assault, have long term ill children, gone through eating disorders and the same thing runs true…
The control trigger, do you love being told what to do?
If yes, have you repeated programs repeatedly? And why?
If no, do you keep going back for more? And why?
Is ‘control’ a trigger? Someone telling you what to do? How to eat? How to exercise?
Gosh, here I am giving you the option to listen to your own voice.
How many times have you done the same program with a different name? 10, 20 or 30 years?
Somethings are unrealistic, especially in exercise. Training anything over 4-7 days a week after years away from activity is unrealistic.
Eat 1200 calories a day? Leaving you to weight and measure everything as your young children are screaming for fish chips and beans. It’s not realistic with busy family life that demands calories to think.
And yes, some people achieve it.
But, many don’t. Leaving them feeling disgruntled, let down and even worse with an eating disorder.
Teaching the unknown…
It’s OK to not know what to do. Is that your cue to find the answers within you? You have them! You are VERY intelligent, more intelligent than many people in life would have you think.
Are you good or bad? This teaching still takes place, even in schools
Maybe you feel…
I shouldn’t eat that… it’s bad (like my son said to me)
I should exercise.. it’s good for me
I should sleep more…
We get taught from a young age what’s good and bad for us. My gosh it’s was even drilled into my own psychology.
Doesn’t it make the ‘bad stuff’ taste better??
Or, having a ‘treat’ as a ‘reward’ greater
Yet, the punishment with harsh words at self (and sometimes self harm) if you eat the bad stuff or reward gets worse.
Or, if you put on weight… there’s words or a look of disapproval from someone else that triggers fear of failure and rejection that is underneath procrastination.
It’s like being a kid again, right? But, as a kid we love to rebel…
Have you experienced teenage rebellion? Is this why some diets fail
This is where the diet ends. You couldn’t give two f@cks anymore.
Fed up with the minimal calories, eating like a hermit from your family and doing ‘what feels like’ punishment.
NO EXERCISE NOR FOOD NEED BE PUNISHMENT!
Exercise can be enjoyable, it can be exhilarating, it can be mesmerising and food can nourish, gift energy, keep you alive and in a good mood.
Do you like what you are doing?
Just because various programs have worked for some doesn’t means it’s the best option for true health, especially if it triggers OCD style thinking and upset. Like the BMI scale, it may indirectly create an extra need of that food. Just the same as we tell our children not to do something and they do it.
It’s a no brainer, the don’t drink/put curfew on it/limit something… A normal human thinks, f@ck you… drinks it, shoves back drink before the curfew, goes raving and has more chocolate because of said limitations.
By the way, I am not normal 😉
Self regulation and getting to know you?
Are you allowed to self regulate? Make their own choices, trust yo’self , become confident in feeling out your body’s physical and emotional needs.
Then pass that shininess onto your children.
It’s amazing how scarcity around money and food affects future eating habits. A house full of food and being allowed to take what your want, compared to a house that limits food due to money are completely different when it comes to the family’s future diets (a whole different blog).
“Don’t you tell me how to eat, drink?? I can do it myself!”
And yes, you can!!! This is what I am here to share!
Many women, want to eat with their children, want to have freedom in choice, want the time for their health, crave the energy for their business and also want happiness.
Even myself included!
We know health helps, doing long term can be a different story.
Guilt, shame and blame creates a VERY real diet cycle of self punishment
Most people who read my blog have been dieting 10, 20, 30 years, were fit at one point (but lost it), are trying to let go of body aches and have an established business. When they work with me, it is quickly realised that there is a cycle and we work at what breaks that cycle.
And break every cycle in-between. My journey is no different. I live by what I teach. Some cycles took me longer to recognise than others.
With many programs we happily start, full of motivation and usually week 5/8 can’t be arsed or do it anymore. There’s a break and the cycle starts again. Over and over. Some cycles are weeks, days, years at a time.
That’s until something different is done, something never attempted but has always been offered at many points. Changing the pattern around the mindset towards it, or connect with something that gives you want you want.
Overcoming health challenges to see abundance in health
Any program that triggers deprivation and limitations in you does something completely different. Something we are so far removed from, especially when tapping into who we really are. It’s like telling yourself, I can’t eat that because someone will think bad of me, or I am bad.
We ARE AMAZING!!
It was a REAL eye opener to wake from my own health slumber. Because I was super fit or so I thought. Before little one I was in great shape, I looked the part of a PT. I ate well, exercised so much that my hair fell out, I had constant injuries and always fighting an infection at Christmas. I put in the work in session and out of session and my body showed it too. But, I looked great!
However, fast forward 6 years and I would say I am in better health than I was then. My diet is loads cleaner, my skin is better, my hair has grown thicker, my finger nails have grown back stronger, and my injuries are healing.
So, what happened? I stop juggling and started listening to my body. Healing my best self to achieve ultimate business, life and health.
I realised that life wasn’t about the way I looked, but it is perfectly OK to look how you feel. I feel amazing in my skin, I realised what my body wanted. She didn’t want to be upset, tired, depressed and anxious. But, what did she want?
- Adventure
- Love
- Care
- Friendship
- Kindness
- Smiles
- Laughter
- Fun
- Movies
- Books
- Exercise
This meant letting go of things that made her feel less than, and input times that make her feel worthy. Gifting this, myself to myself. My body deserves me to be my own best friend.
Your body your best friend…
What is your body asking for?
For many of my clients, its love, trust, sleep, life
“How do I change this?”
Good question! Only you know this truly. But the best thing is to give yourself time and start listening to your intuition. When I started listening to mine, it lead me to understand what I wanted and what fears I felt. Especially when triggered. I always knew what I didn’t want, so kept getting the same (have you had this happen to you?)
So I changed it to, I want this…. this is what I deserve, I am worthy of.
A lot of people would say selfish, I say… I know what I want, I know it’s coming and feel better for it. Many of it has come already.
And what happened, slowly and surely it started to manifest in small amounts to now larger items. As I bonus, my body transformed.
No one told me to loose weight, no one scare mongered me with adverts to drop the pounds to save my life, no one guilt tripped me to change my diets.
This is why advertising always fascinates me.
Instead I have created a corner of the universe to change all that to just help you heal your best self to achieve ultimate business, life and health.
Helping to let go and show just how goddamn amazing you are
- Confident in making decisions and manage time for health
- Use the self motivated business self to change your health
- Free yourself
- Consistently show up for you
- Learn abundant health
- Feel into your growth and food relationships
- Aids you to share that onto your children and eat with them
It’s important, especially at this precise time to LOVE you, be YOU and cherish YOU, because everyone else is taken.
Trina xx
Trina Kavanagh - Writer | Creative | Healer 