Can you believe my flow has finally kicked in to do my degree…
And it’s due in VERY soon
And… after a 3 week extension
This is the level of my fear, in fact a physical paralysation. I cannot move to do anything. A while back, it would be a massive issue but now, it takes a lot of love and compassion. As well as, coming to terms and admitting that you have a fear. Because that puts you in a vulnerable position, yet it also means that you are acknowledging and accepting it’s there instead of hiding it away.
Due to this vulnerability and place of honesty while reaching out to my lecturer (a young doctor), I sort the help I desperately needed. She even gave up her Friday afternoon to speak with me and was so relieved that I did reach out. And after a kafuffle trying to use adobe (we we couldn’t see nor communicate properly). We met on zoom!
Her joy (my tutor doesn’t do video calls) at seeing a student was met with my joy of receiving help
Giving and receiving
Which led to the most wonderful and productive of conversations, letting me know she’s quite critical in her marking, yet letting me know what she’s looking for. Putting my fears to rest.
Do you know what my fear is?
Fear of failure
We agreed, that there is a level of this in various aspect of our life’s, areas that are brand new to us.
It rocks our inbuilt need of safety and throws up memories of the past. Helping us protect ourselves by not showing up, hiding or even not doing to work.
And while, I have done work on this, it has been flagged up again. to which my tutor said joyfully…
“Me too!! It’s so hard reading a book. I learn by doing to actual work.”
And THAT gave me the go head to start getting my head together
Someone supporting me… so I feel safe to go further
Who knows what lessons are ahead…
Innate safety however, safety that we are born with and if it wasn’t for scientific studies on monkeys during 1960’s we would still have a detached parental system now. Instead started a more closer system. Because studies show… a loved baby explores further knowing someone had got their back, knowing that they are love and help is a coach, mentor, friend or even a lecturer.
And to celebrate this, I would like to invite 5 of you into my light for an incredible night of release, dance, collaborative cooking and conscious rebirthing of your business as your coach so we can venture further as a womanhood..
The Euphoric Equinox Retreat
An incredible conscious womanhood co creating their niche, style and power