This month the Collective Womanhood are discovering food relationships.
I realise that this can be a triggering topic, but this is about loving relationships and understanding ourselves objectively.
It was through my own failures that I truly discovered how I used food to keep down the emotions behind failing.
Such as, lots of plates of food while studying and filling in a recent application. It was only when I took the plates away, up the emotion of failing. I was comfort eating.
As I speak about this. I realise that I am not the first nor the last female coach who has done this.
And, failure (when it comes) feels tough for some. That fear of the unknown. Not knowing what to do or what is going to happen.
This fear can equally be akin to excitement (which had the same physical experience).
You may of heard of the words…
It’s not how hard you fall, its whether you get back up.
And sometimes we have to face it, face the problem, face what needs sorting, even face ourselves.
Because, when we leave things until last minute, even ignore gifting ourselves space when we do heavy emotional work or even ignoring the accounts.
The problem (small to begin) may get bigger.
When I equally do this work, I become aware of my food intake. For instance, if I am applying for something, studying for a module or reaching outside my comfort zone. My food intake rises. In fact I will have plates of food besides me as I take something on.
And, this is where my inner self kicked in and said… hold on a second, you are full and still going??
So, I get fed up and push the food away.
This is when I push all foods away to face what was scaring me.
And this is what happened… a rising of emotion that turned into tears, panic, physical feelings in my throat and chest, a crushing blow to my normally optimistic exterior.
Followed by the words… like failing, rubbish at this, I can’t do it, I won’t do it, who needs me??
My inner child
Crying her heart out and it felt like watching my own children struggling past a tough moment
10-15 minutes these tears lasted and then subsided.
However, as the tears cleared. I found my adult self kick-in with much compassion to remind myself to carry on.
This reminds me (as I smile) everything is transitionary. The emotions, while stretching through the applications, the study and anything else in between. It comes and goes.
And I was using food to keep this feeling down.
A feeling I have accepted, acknowledged and faced.
It is no longer as heavy, she is no longer as scared, we take action and do the work.
We sort things sooner, not later.
Do you resonate?
I am writing this to say, that fear of the unknown can be positively overcome.
That we can change this fear to excitement.
Even joy or elation.
You can complete the tasks and if it fails we have the opportunity to do it again or understand what it has taught us.
Because, the (what I thought was a big) job application I failed last year has helped me complete another this year.
Or an issue you faced a few years ago has helped you prepare better now.
And that the comforter… food.
Is no longer needed to protect me.
That I can now take more control of my eating patterns, build bridges with myself and grow.
The most important thing to do during any heavy emotional period… make space to for our physical energy to restore itself.
At the moment, the universal energy is pointing very much towards taking big scary leaps, whether it is in our inner or outer world and spirit have told me for quite some time that health and how the body reacts is crucial for human navigation.
For me, that means silent practice and reading some fiction.
Have you ever experienced this?