For one of my speaker clients, a story came to light and the emotion was still apparent.
This led to the emotion leaving in biggest way and by calling her husband a liar and having the biggest fight.
I allowed her to make her own judgement, because this is her call. She told me she realised a truth… something not seen before.
Her narrative had played out from another relationship, which led her to speculate about…
The real truth of family
There had been so much hurt in her life that she had learnt to not trust in love. This had been taught to her from her mother, grandmother and so on.
She identified that living with this distrust led to sabotage.
This sabotage came in the form of blowing hot and cold constantly and now it was exhausting for her
And as she prepared to walk out of her marriage…
Ready to leave her world behind…
She realised that she really had a deep fear of losing everything. A fear that made her think she may as well quit and reject everything that loves her.
- Her home
- Her kids
- Her marriage
- The need to walk away and leave them all.
A trauma hidden so deep within her… shame
- Rather then allowing herself to be loved and letting people in
- Rather than allowing herself to give her love back and trust all is well
- Rather than allowing herself to tell someone ‘I love you and mean it.’
Instead cut it all off, than go all in
This is fear and what fear can do. That doesn’t mean that if your relationship is over that you do not leave. This is merely speaking about not allowing yourself to receive the love of another because you feel you do not deserve. When in actual fact, you do.
You deserve to love you and also be loved too
This is something that can happen in health, life and business
- Putting off growing money because we may be a bad person… rather than loving your money and doing great things with it.
- Not exercising because we feel we are no good at doing it – rather than allowing yourself to love going outside for that walk, or taking yourself for a good old boogie at that class dancing
- Never allowing yourself to be loved.. rather than discussing these patterns and slowly letting someone in
For this client, becoming aware of this pattern allows her to start understanding her basic needs are ready to be met. The need to be loved, listened to or to feel safe. In this case, a need to know that she was safe. Safe from rejection. And instead of moving everyone away she closed her eyes, communicated her basic needs and went all in on love.
Trina xx
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