Have you ever wanted to strengthen your boundaries?
Until I asked myself… would I want my children to work this way? So why am I?
That ‘teeny tiny’ boundary fence saw me up til all hours on social media, literally pushing myself time wise to have a life and business while my health suffered in the background. And I didn’t do very well.
To be honest, I wasn’t taking action. Yet, I felt ill through fear.
My ‘working’ was speaking to people on social media. I wasn’t spending time networking or doing the income producing stuff and I found myself not having time for health. So much so, I would get angry with everyone, when really deep down I was angry with myself. This affects my health.
18 hours… who has 18 hours to spend in this way?
This was my biggest distraction… 18 hours
Having strong boundaries teaching us to build ourselves up rather than break ourselves down. For 18 hours… I was putting off the chance of looking after my needs so we can think, speak and hear more focused and clear.
How does the body play a part?
Our body plays its part in being our indicator, making us aware that something is up for change. We may feel it in our muscles, have an increase or decrease in our eating patterns (maybe they become more erratic), our periods or hormonal cycles may become irregular, we may have a rise in blood pressure.
Just like when a lot of things kick off in our life’s we may think the last thing we need to do is to sit in silence, take a break, or go for that. However, it is in those moments that provide you with the calmness and the answers you need.
We are not doing ourselves any favours putting them off. Instead, if you are coming to terms with being an ‘in-flow girl’ like me. You will realise that there is nothing wrong with you and small teeny tiny steps will see you through. Unless the universe is seriously saying stop. Then there will be massive stoppers.
Helping ourselves move through what we are putting off is a learning.
For me, I know, I was missing time with our growing children and by coming away from social media meant that
- Switching off the news cleared up much of the anxiety fear built up from watching it
- That cycles may become regular again after switching off
- Creating less distraction and start getting things done allows us to be creative in other areas
- Meet others away from our phones, people who are waiting to meet us
- Have more time to create cash flow and network while my business grows
Basically, I am starting again from scratch. Just like I did when I stopped drinking. Except this time my dopamine fix was being on a social platform.
Are you putting your health to onside to please others?
Have you ever put your health to one side to please everyone?
Is it TIME to LOVE you first to gift this precious gift of you to another?
Remember, tough love is also LOVE
It is ok to ask for help
In essence, (and in practice) the physical body wants to keep up as everything including energy expands… and this is where we have to be honest and ask for help from others while instilling rock hard boundaries between life and work is all part of this.
This space allows us to think clearly about our self respect and what needs to change when cultivating it.
How do you know when your boundaries between work and life are healthy?
- You have time for those you love
- You are happy with your work life balance
- God damn it, you even have time for yourself
- You become skilled in saying the word ‘no’ to things that take up your non negotiable time
Putting boundaries in your life protects not only your mindset but your energy.
You have energy, and energy grows better from a place of happiness.
How do you grow your boundaries?
Look at 3 key areas of your life…
Rate them out of 10. 10 being the best. If under a score of 9, use your intuition and ask yourself…
- How do I improve this score?
- What will make this area of my life better?
- What do I need to let go of?
- What can you do today to make a difference?
Journal on this.
Remember, our well-being is our own responsibility, yes, people will flow in and help but ultimately. It’s our responsibility. As a loving coach we are not our clients mothers. And if like me, I teach self awareness.
This is NOT to bring guilt (that’s what creates repeating patterns in the first place), this is to have honest conversations and take power away from those feelings by owning them and honouring yourself.
What will strong boundaries do?
- Give you time to work on you
- Bring back time with your family
- Allow you to create smarter decisions
- Enable you to learn to communicate more effectively with others
- Work through mindset tasks to help you take consistent action
It’s going to feel alien, you may feel anxious or fearful for stepping away. Maybe you feel like you are missing out, like I did. But, it’s all a learning curve. A learning curve where you learn to detox things that are holding you back in life.
What are you ready to step forward and work on?
Like to come together with likeminded women and strike the right balance between health, life and business? Find out more in the mind and body collective
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