When you FINALLY say I DO to you… Il Dolce Far Niente part 2

I wrote recently about needing to listen to ourselves before we can be heard by others. Listening to ourselves helps us understand what we truly need deep down. Such as… why do you want to be heard? It also enables us processing types to be able to articulate what we want to say. Have you ever found that you either go into a rage, cry or even become defensive?

Which led me to writing the sweetness of doing nothing

Il dolce far neinte!

The carefree’ness of doing nothing… it is in the nothingness do we realise what we need and we want to say.

Why? Sometimes with our triggers we are missing out on our needs. Our basic needs of having alone time, of taking time out, even having some rest and allowing our mind and body to recoup from either work, fitness and beyond.

Gifting space

Space is needed to process and learn to articulate our triggers. And nothing is better than getting the time alone that you deserve. We all deserve time alone. And, to spend time alone without all the ‘doing’ is even better. Our body is a great indicator of space.

It will alert us.

One way my body told me to rest… my period coming 6 days early for many months followed by bladder pain.

Hidden psychological stress alerted via my physical system.

This is where I either keep doing shouting at everyone and break me or I let go of the stresses and add some sweet nothings to my life. For me, I chose the latter. To break the stresses and add sweet nothings.

Yet, I felt I didn’t have the time to do sweet nothing. However, I was spending many hours on social media. I know social media is a great place to be for meeting people. Gosh, I have met so many of you! Social media has been the dopamine hit for me, one I have been needing to free myself from. Like alcohol (which I quit just over 2 years ago) the feelings and behaviour patterns were the same. I feel happier when I get things done, I action the tasks that need actioning, I get time back with the ones I love, be able to increase my health and wellness and have the sweetness of doing nothing.

As mentioned in part 1 of my blog, I found a little inspiration in a film called eat, pray, love. The bit where Julia Roberts goes to Italy and is ‘forced’ to not do anything. To enjoy the sweetness of doing NOTHING. Il Dolce Far Neinte! By two Italian friends who also tell her that everyone in other countries get it wrong! And that many of us call relaxation… getting a six pack and getting wasted.

However, the art of doing nothing is to just be carefree. No filling your time with stuff, it is just stuff. Maybe you eat quietly to yourself, sit peacefully in a bath, maybe you read, or sleep. You just follow your body, not your minds cues. Your body is the guide. It never feels like you are wasting your time or energy. In fact, time goes slower and energy recharges. This is rejuvenation time for you! So you fire on all cylinders.

It may be that you need some time away and the universe gifts you a chance to getaway and escape last minute. Maybe a beautiful friend offers you that much needed time out at their place and you go and housesit. This is time out by yourself, giving you chance to open your heart further. Sometimes we just need quiet, to not talk or direct anyone. To love on ourselves. Space.

In this space our fears may come up in waves, we are able to process our deserving and worthiness. We are able to have some peace. Just quiet. To watch a film when we want, to relax when we need, eat when we like. This may allow our body to cry tears it never cried before, a full scale release and come back to calm.

And as we sit down one morning for a quiet breakfast. We realise the loving kindness that had been bestowed on us by having this break. Because we could say no, yet this is a basic need for many of us. To LOVE on ourselves.

Loving kindness either from others or to ourselves is an invitation to be open to receiving. It reminds us that we are deserving and trustworthy (heart and solar plexus chakras). Loving kindness allows us to love and give without expectation. It’s a trust that things will come back to us.

And it allows us the time to have the sweetness of doing nothing, be NOTHING (not mum, not wife, not daughter) but LOVE to ourselves for the answers to come through in their own time by letting go of other peoples opinions filling our 60000 thoughts. Like you, I am learning and trusting in my own abilities and it is loving kindness that allows us to rebuild this sense of trust in ourselves and of that in others, giving us the space to let go of who we were bought up as and let who we are to be, have her voice rise from under the physical pressure of it all.

A little exercise… get a pen and write the answers

Think of a time where you were at you happiest, most energetic self. What brought you to that high vibration point?

Note the answers, no overthinking, just write.

After writing, reflect… What did you learn about you? And how will you go about the sweetness of doing nothing and being carefree?

Trina xx

Like to come together with likeminded women and strike the right balance between health, life and business? Find out more in the mind and body collective


Or maybe you need to dive deeper with 1-1 support? Then click to access your Introductory coaching here

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close