Recently my journey has been quite lonely. Yet, I stay true to myself.
I have been afraid to stand up for what I believe in, yet, as I stand in my truth I know some people will drift away and others will resonate.
I am prepared to not fit in
For many years I have always fitted in. Yes sir, no sir.
I have been afraid to speak up when I felt something was wrong. I was terrified of other people feeling they know more than me, so I must trust them.
Yet, as I was lied to over and over again. I learned to keep trusting to keep listening and nodding.
However, the more I nodded the more unhappy I have become.
And as I started to speak, I started to have nightmares.
I had nights where I was crying ‘I feel they are going to kick my head in.’ and ‘I feel I am going to be attacked.’
So, I sank back. Froze and stopped speaking.
And instead, my body took the brunt. My periods became erratic and so did my moods. I became depressed holding onto how I felt.
I want to be true to myself.
I want to stop pleasing everyone
I want to speak my truth
I am opening myself
I am healing
I am letting go of this feeling
The body talks
From a physical point of view, my throat was sore, my eating habits changed, my chest was tight and I had headaches.
And as I started to let it out. I could feel the panic and paranoia rise within me. Self-care has definitely needed to be a priority.
And it hasn’t been easy.
I have felt my body freeze, something I am slowly working through by accepting a big need to comfort myself as I take these steps forward slowly.
It is OK to access your basic needs
What do I need during this time? To feel safe and loved.
There are a few ways I help myself feel safe as I am starting to speak out…
- Switch off the noise – Switch off social media channels, the news and anything else where we feel a sense of panic, hystria or anything else that doesn’t align with you or your families deeper intuitive values.
- Create a sense of safety – For me, I have been learning to create safety around me. surrounding myself with likeminded people, people who project love and strengthening relationships with those we love.
- Remind myself I cannot control what is outside of me – As much as I would love to change the world. I find it is a very quick path to becoming ungrounded. I start to bubble up with anger inside. Yet, I cannot control what decisions are made in the world. What we can do is control how we react? I can also choose to express how I feel in my writing, speaking and learning. Yet, also keep inputting lot’s of love and care.
I am human and healing
It is OK to not force myself forward, it is OK to take small steps. It is OK that as I speak it brings up the need for validation. This means (for me) it is a prime time for love, devotion and to switch off from much of social media.
Validation for me, see’s my rise in seeking to be heard and understood.
However, as I face my need for validation. I am faced with the need to validate myself, listen to inner calling and understand myself.
Are you speaking your truth? How has this felt for you?
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2 thoughts on “Not everyone is going to understand you. Learning to walk alone and meet others just like you”
Oh yeah, the place where we have the most power is between our ears. Everything else outside us is beyond our control, as much as we like to think otherwise. Thanks for this post, Trina!
Hi Stuart, thank you for your comment. Absolutely agree too! Wishing you a lovely Christmas wherever you are in the world. Trina