Is it time to allow people to find their own way?

We cannot direct someone who doesn’t want to be directed

We cannot motivate someone who does not want to be motivated

We cannot open up someone who is not ready to open up

I hear the words… you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.

To be personally honest, that wouldn’t be very nice if we did try to make someone drink if they were not ready. Nor wanted to.

As humans, we really need to want to make a change, for us to take action to make change happen.

Some people can…

Inspire

Give hope

And belief

(Therefore, leading someone to water…)

But, we will drink (or… take action) if we are READY to make a change.

It is choice. Freedom of choice.

and it is always good to remember, that everyone is on their own life path.

I remember when I gave up drinking. Before then, no one could tell me to stop. No one could even talk to me about it. I didn’t FEEL I had a problem. Same when I smoked at 17, took drugs at 19 and when I was eating to cover pain within.

I wanted the easy way out too… quick fixes when it came to my health. I follow short diet plans and give up, I’d stop drinking for 30 days and clock watch until I could drink again, I’d take all the tablets I was told to because they would get rid of the pain.

And they worked, for a short period.

The latter I could’ve taken for longer but I knew deep down that this could no longer be in my system forever, non of it could. My body did not want it to be.

The mirror

I wasn’t feeling. I didn’t want to feel the pain. I only wanted to feel happiness. I’d dodge those conversations. They are too low. I need something higher. That’s all many of us ever want to be. Happy.

Yet, I was numbing my feelings with food, alcohol and in relationships with others… but most of all myself.

I knew I needed to stop, and with each passing year, the alcohol (and food) content grew. I remember watching celebs like Kerry Katona saying how she stopped and then started again but it got worse each time. I resonated because the drinking expanded every time.

In the end, I was drinking 2 bottles a day and more on a weekend. I was also spending most of my money on it. Two bottles may not seem a lot to some.

But to me… when I let go of 2 bottles and more at the weekend

I gained…

£200 and more a month back

My skin got better without facial creams

I slept deeper

There are no hangovers

I found I could do more energy-wise

A higher connection to spirit

What do I do to stay sober and not self-sabotage myself?

This is a personal choice but I chose to look at the root cause of my behaviours and start facing them.

I know that is not easy for some people.

Do I ever think about those behaviours?

Yes, of course. I’d lie if I said I didn’t. I also think about how better it was during those times. But to be honest. It wasn’t. Why did I want to go back? Because I could REALLY feel and needed to learn to give myself my basic need of love and safety.

Changes in friendship circles… how this relates to any changes in life

I did experience changes. There are people who will drift away. Some will stay for the ride too. And that’s ok.

It will also remind some people of their own habits and what they may need to change to reconnect with themselves. This need for connection can be very painful for us.

We have to deal with these when they arise. No need to force them.

It can and may bring up feelings of abandonment and loneliness. Yet, I remind myself… this too shall pass.

Physically

From a body standpoint, I felt a few things. When we give up things externally and internally we may feel certain sensations. Headaches, tension, feelings of frustration and impatience.

When I gave up alcohol, I felt electrical sensations in my neck and back almost like I was reconnecting with myself. I was able to notice feelings in my tummy that had been numbed from the foods I had been eating. As well as a disconnect to my intuition.

How did letting go deepen my intuition?

I didn’t realise just how disconnected from reality I had been.

There was so much focus on work, money and chasing happiness, that I was missing out on time with my family, help my clients with their energy and create a beautiful connection to myself.

And look after my inner child, she’s scared of all this change

Of course, it is a scary prospect, losing friends, gaining new ones and coming face to face with your fears as we drop the behaviours.

With this comes flight or fright.

If you are like me, take of with flight sometimes but others… there is fright.

Then it is time to give yourself a break and comfort your inner child.

Reward her for how far she’s come… pop day’s off in the diary

Take her for a walk

Swimming at a spa

Watch comedy

Spend time with friends

Remind her she is worthy and deserving

It is not time to drag her, it is time to speak to her. Get down to her level, close your eyes and connect with her.

This is a process and as things (behaviours and sabotage) drop by the waist side, things will start to become even more connected. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. On not so great days, we may even see a flock of birds and even smile.

One thing to remember…

We do not have my shit together (no one does), but we may handle some things a lot better than others as we go deeper and tune into ourselves.

Trina xx

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