Honesty while facing relationships with food

Your body is not separate from mind or spirit

It is ALL you

I may separate them at first so we can get an objective view of ourselves. But, in the end… we have to realise everything including the energy around us. Is us.

This isn’t for everyone, as today I am talking about facing your relationship with food.

If you feel triggered in any way by eating, food or diets. Then this may not be the blog for you. And FYI this is not a blog about dieting. Far from it. Feel free to read my blog on triggering before getting started.

Let’s share a story…

I have been going through a period of growth with studying and during this period I have identified that I eat a lot more.

Besides this, I have found out that, after feeling I was a failure for a long time… all the learning not sinking in and having to read over and over again is that my brain takes time to process things. And while my food choices are healthier, I am eating whilst my stomach can no longer take any more.

This is how I protect myself.

Because, food has helped me feel safe, warm and loved.

What happens when we face failure…

I decided to stop when I was full, cut off the supply that is keeping me from feeling. But, what would happen?

Little did I know I would feel so uncomfortable.

My body was full, but needing more food. I could sense my mind saying what it would like, while my body became upset.

A knotty feeling from my stomach to my chest.

I carried on studying, drinking water and breathing… while the feeling continued to rise to my throat and out my mouth…

‘I can’t do this!’

‘I am rubbish’

‘Why am I doing this??’

And tears, more tears than I can explain. Tears that were so needed, tears that were buried. Tears that needed out.

They were surpressed. Held.

Conditioning

Through my training over the last 10 years as a PT, health coach (and beyond) I learnt many practices, one is that psychologically we eat for many reasons including boredom, happiness, reward, sadness, and underlying fears. Like myself, we can eat to protect ourselves from future hurts, like failure.

This is something I simply and practically coach my clients to work through by understanding their fears vs their needs.

In social science us humans have an innate need to feel safe. We also need love. In fact many parents were taught to feed babies when they were tired, scared and in need of love. The term is coined ‘cupboard love’. Yet, I personally believe this is now a social conditioning even though this process has changed, because we now know babies need safety over food.

Could the key be self regulation?

While this is not for everyone (especially if you still suffer from unresolved trauma and eating disorders, please seek the advice to suit you), self regulation can be key. Allowing ourselves to feel the rollercoaster of emotions.

It is in the rollercoaster of feelings that we lessen the need for the attachments to foods that are holding back fears to protect us from facing them and upleveling.

They could help us overcome… showing up on stage, on camera, as you and in your power.

3 Ways to create awareness when facing our relationship with food

1. Being honest with ourselves – In my case, I wasn’t being honest. I was putting a brave face on everything. I was telling myself, a strong woman has no time for failure. Yet, it is in the vunerability of those feelings do we find the clarity to move forward. By practicing awareness do we recognise the emotion and allow for it’s release. And release my not be tears, it can be laughter, it can be yawning, or we can facilitate release too… walking, dancing, sex and more.
2. Feel it out – Where do you feel it? Be aware of what your body is saying. How it is communicating with you. Do you notice that your mind is saying something different to your stomach? For instance… I am hungry… but your stomach is totally full. It is learning to make those connections. Even more so if the body is signalling pain.#
3. Noting patterns of behaviour – When are these patterns occuring? Is it when you ware putting things off such as work? Putting off having a conversation with someone? Identify those moments when food is a distraction. I know that I love to cook when I study (see the food connection? Safe, warm and loved). It is a distraction, so I prep a lot of food, then I have zero excuse to keep getting up to make and bake when things need to get done. Also, note what is happening with your body too, what is it saying and when.

Finally, remember to go easy on yourself, it is a journey. Years of conditioning takes a while to unlearn. Be safe in knowing that sometimes we will repeat behaviours and that is OK, we are human and we are amazing.

Trina xx

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