I will be really honest, I created a video about focus… expecting to focus.
No matter how much I meditated, how much I went outside and walked. I just could NOT shake this feeling inside.
Have you ever had that feeling?
Maybe it appears when you have so much going on in your life, that you are trying to ignore it all and get all the things done. But, they just are not getting done. You may feel like you are procrastinating and feel feelings of failure, internal head pain, bladder pain and just body pain.
This is not being lazy, this is not because you are rubbish at doing something.
This is a nervous system reaction from a memory that is trauma based.
You may cry, you may want to eat more and you may crave safety.
And do you know what?
It is OK to give yourself permission to walk away.
This is what happened to me on Tuesday, already to go and do an assignment and it just would not come… I have one trigger that felt ancestral and other triggers that were around failure. I felt internal anger with myself…
Why can I just not do this like everyone else??
Neglecting to realise, how much I had gone through recently. So, it is important to me to honour that ‘inner child’ honour my physical body’s cries and take myself away.
In fact, I am on an Easter housesit with my two boys after I finish this housesit.
It is OKAY
When was the last time we gave ourselves permission to down tools when this feeling comes up?
When was the last time we said it was OKAY to look after our inner needs and not that of others?
We speak of putting our gas mask on first, but are we really?
I know I can forget sometimes and I teach this work.
However, it is in that forgetting I am quicking reminded just how much my body needs me, just how much she cannot push anymore and just how much she is hurting.
In the fitness industry… we ask clients to lift weights to the point where they feel like they can only fit 2 more reps (or goes in) to gain either strength, power or endurance (depending on the reps done). Going past that can risk muscle fatigue which can lead to tears or breaks within the tissue.
Now, imagine we are that muscle and we push ourselves past that brink… we may not feel it, but we do tear. Slowly and surely we tear.
Are you gifting yourself permission to take that step to the side?
This is not about feeling guilt or shame if we are not, because it is within the guilt and shame that keeps us pushing.
I push when I do not want to fail because ultimately, I failed in school… well I felt like it.
Instead, I have to recognise what I can do and where I am pushing past my best.
This means, that I am about to park my studies to concentrate on other aspects of my life.
It is in decluttering our lives and minds that we find true freedom. It is OKAY to slimline your life, make it simpler and add things when appropriate. This is not putting of, this is parking something while we cultivate the things that need more attention right in the moment.
Are you or have you ever felt like this? I love to personally reply to your comments
P.S. *It is OKAY to see a therapist, trauma-based professional if you haven’t faced these feelings before. I mainly work with businesswomen going for reaching higher goals and have an understanding of these feelings*
Watch my latest Youtube video… where I said I was going to do the study but ended up… FOCUSED on self love. Remember to subscribe, like and comment on this video… thank you!